REV JOHN: Random Thoughts for 6/1

So I'm reading "The Reagan Diaries," and the most interesting thing so far is his relationship with Tip O'Neil, who for those of you playing the home game was the former Speaker of the House and one of them Massachusetts Democrats the GOP love oh so much. They were political rivals and they had to play there role when the cameras were on. But when the cameras were off, you got a feel for the respect and admiration they would have for each other. I'm only up to July of 1981, and there's already been seven of eight entries aboot how "Tip" was over for dinner, or how they'd be hammering out a deal/compromise on whatever the issue of the day was. That's fascinating when you compare it to today's political landscape. I just can't picture George Bush chatting away with Nancy Pelosi on the phone, or Bill Clinton having Newt over to the Oval for a few drinks.

Rule #87: As long as you aren't looking at jail time, they aren't too young for you.

Apparently the GOP is turning the primaries into the Final Four. You have Fred Thompson vs. Mitt Romney in the "Real" Conservative bracket, and John McCain vs. Rudy Gulianni in the Moderate bracket. Thompson beats Romney (who probably flip flops back to being pro-abortion and pro gay marriage and tries to run as a Democrat). McCain probably squeeks by Rudy in overtime. Then in the finals, people realize that McCain and Thompson are the same person, except that Thompson changed his Immigration position when he decided to run for President. Plus he's the one with the southern accent, so he probably wins.

She's gone. I admit I was wrong, but I can't quit thinking about how good our love used to be. And the whiskey numbs the pain. In the morning, when I wake, I'll be hungover hanging on to a memory. So I'll order one more round. Lose the Coke and keep the Crown. Just drown my misery. And I blind myself with liquor and neon lights, alone and stoned out of my mind. If you think I'm flying high as a kite, you damn right.

Did you know that apple fritters from Starbucks have 0g of transfats per serving? That makes them mad healthy.

There should be an amendment to the Immigration Bill that says anyone who opposes any kind of reform needs to disclose who does their gardening.

You know what makes America totally rule school? It's the fact that no matter what we celebrate - the sacrifice of our brothers and sisters, telling England to go fuck themselves, the parents are out of town, etc. - we do it with beer and BBQ. That's what America is all aboot. It's not gay stuff like "democracy." It's all aboot the Bubba Burgers, the Pabst Blue Ribbon, and Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'." That's what America means to me. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!