Random Thoughts: by Rev. John

I'm all for calling celebrities on hypocrisy when it comes to whatever the social issue du joir is, but am I the only one who heard Sheryl Crow say we should limit ourselves to "one square of toilet paper" and thought she was being sarcastic? Do people really think she means that seriously? Only use one square, "except for those instances where you need a second or third?" Two hundred and seventeen different people are running for President, each with their vision for America. My vision for America is one with a sense of humour, where we can put the politics aside once in a while just to simply say, "LOL!"

Matt Serra, or WORLD WELTERWEIGHT CHAMPION Matt Serra, and Matt Hughes are going to be the two coaches on the upcoming season of "Ultimate Fighter: The Welterweights." We're all particularly looking forward to this because it's been decided that the Serra/Longo Competition team is going to be our "NY YANKEES" of MMA, and we all hate Matt Hughes and all the other Miletich guys.

I was at our local burger joint a few days ago, and there was this guy who was, as they say, "all up in the grill" of someone else. He wasn't wearing a shit, had a big gold chain, his ball cap turned sideways, and was trying oh so very hard to look tough. To prove how tough he is, he even punched his car. And I thought to myself, "Self, there's a guy who thinks he's cool." What's sad is that I'm sure there are people who think he is.

You're primitive and you're cynical to me. I chewed down on the bit and almost swallowed it. You sit all alone with your color TV. Your hair starts to glisten in spite of the fleas. We don't have to stay friends. Let's pretend to be enemies. Yeah, whatever makes you happy.

So to celebrate Earth Day last Sunday, MTV aired a very special episode of "Pimp My Ride," where they pimped a ride to make it more eco friendly. It was a nice thing to do, but I don't see how much of a difference it will make when they go right back to pimping rides to waste as much energy as they can possible squeeze into a Honda Civic. I find MTV saying we should "go green" to be particularly amusing. The two most basic things you can do to help the environment (and two things we should all be doing) is to cut back on excess and exercise self-restraint. If it wasn't for celebrating excess and people who show no self restraint whatsoever, MTV wouldn't have any programming.

First I quit cable news after the Imus lynching debacle was one media circus too many for me. Now I've decided to quit the Internet, after a pop stars stupid comment on toilet paper seemed to take precedence over a world leader dying and that pesky little war. I've decided I'm just going to watch the Sunday news show for an overview of what's going on in the world, and if there's anything I feel compelled to research further, I will. My favourite is ABC's This Week. George Stephanopoulos is a great interview, and despite who his past employer was, I find him to be fair in his questioning. Plus George Will is the man, and as long as this one tart whose name I can't think of isn't on, the roundtable is usually heavy on ideas and light on talking points. I'll go back to cable news once the joint press conferences debates start, just because those will be good for a few yucks

Do you know that feeling in the middle of the afternoon when you really want to take you pants off but can't until you get home, but you still have two hours to go and the day is really dragging, and all you can think of is, "Wow, I really wish I wasn't wearing pants right now?" I hate that.